Military Stories

Major Conflict: One Gay Man's Life in the Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell Military
by Jeffrey McGowan

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Love of country and personal love combine is this groundbreaking memoir of one gay man's life in the military — and beyond. In Major Conflict, Queens-born Jeffrey McGowan tells how he enlisted in the army in the late 1980s and served with distinction for ten years. But McGowan had a secret: he was gay. In the don't-ask-don't-tell world of the Clinton-era army, being gay meant automatic expulsion. So, at the expense of his personal life and dignity, he hid his sexual identity and continued to serve the army well.

Major Conflict is a moving account of his years in the military, the homophobia he encountered there, and his life afterwards. McGowan presents a vivid portrait of his experience as a soldier in the Persian Gulf, where he commanded U.S. troops in Desert Storm, eventually rising to the rank of major. Ultimately, however, he realized that the army held no future for gay men — even closeted ones. Desiring more of a personal life and tired of hiding his true identity, McGowan resigned from the Army he loved in 1998. In February 2004, he married his partner of six years in New Paltz, New York, making front-page news in the New York Times.

By turns a stirring account of military life and a tender story of gay love, McGowan's memoir will be read by all those who made Find Me, Conduct Unbecoming, and Love, Ellen national bestsellers.

Review:
"A Desert Storm veteran looks back on the years he sacrificed his identity to his career. Growing up in Queens, McGowan always wanted to be a soldier, but he 'couldn't be gay because soldiers aren't gay.' That rationale tortured him as he enrolled in Fordham University's ROTC program and felt agonizing longing for Greg, a co-worker at a bookstore. When McGowan joined the army in the late 1980s, 'the military was like a college football player, pumped up and ripped on steroids, ' and he had 'somehow managed to stuff the genie that Greg had nearly succeeded in freeing forcefully back into the proverbial bottle of my own denial.' (This genie should get overtime for all its play in this memoir.) McGowan served first in Germany; during Desert Storm, he tried to sublimate his crush on a gorgeous fellow officer. But the 'don't ask don't tell' policy created an inadvertent pogrom, he says, as sexual conservatives in the service played dirty to smoke out the hidden 'perverts.' Though McGowan was not implicated, the double-dealing and cowardice of others sickened him, and he retired in 1998. McGowan is not always a graceful writer ('the only anecdote [sic],' he tells us, 'for this strain of senseless tragedy that so often infects the world, is love, family'), but his style is familiar and easy, as if he's confiding his experiences to a trusted friend." Publishers Weekly (Copyright Reed Business Information, Inc.)

Review:
"Jeffrey McGowan is a decorated Army officer, a valued leader of men in combat. For those in our society who see gay men only through the eyes of media stereotypes, McGowan's successful military career may well be a revelation. But the power of this book lies not in the politics of Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell, but rather in the poignant recognition of McGowan’s humanity." Rear Admiral Alan M. Steinman, MD, USPHS (USCG) (Ret.)

Review:
"This is essential reading for anyone interested in promoting full access to American society for its gay, lesbian, and bisexual citizens. It is also an absorbing personal account of the life of a gay soldier. All Americans lose when good and talented people like Jeffrey McGowan leave the service they love." Keith H. Kerr, Brigadier General, CSMR (Ret.)

Review:
"Jeff McGowan's story is one we all need to read, and more stories like his are desperately needed. I hope his book is found by gay and lesbian youth feeling isolated and alone so that they know there are other people who've gone through what they're feeling. I hope his book is read by straight America, so that we can better understand what it means for people to have to choose between how they were born and how they want to live, knowing that both are part of who they are." Jason West, mayor, New Paltz, New York

Review:
"Jeffrey McGowan's courageous personal account of his experience as a gay man serving in the U.S. Army connects two important issues that are front and center in the minds of many Americans. With the political landscape in our country dominated by such issues as war and gay rights, Major Conflict clearly and cogently examines the impact that the confluence of these issues has on an individual's psyche and sense of self. This story of personal conflict, service, and patriotism will help to enlighten the American public and its policy makers." U.S. Representative Maurice Hinchey (D-NY)

Review:
"Rip-sawn memoir by a gay man who 'always wanted to be a soldier.'" Kirkus Reviews

Synopsis:
A book that will move hearts and open minds, McGowan's memoir is the first personal account of a gay man's silent struggle in the don't-ask-don't-tell military, from a cadet who rose to the rank of major, left as a decorated Persian Gulf hero, and whose same-sex marriage was the first on the East Coast.

Jeffrey McGowan joined the army in the late 1980s and served for ten years. Since leaving the service, McGowan has developed a successful sales career in the pharmaceutical industry. In February 2004, he and his partner, Billiam van Roestenberg, were the first same-sex partners to be married on the East Coast. They live in New Paltz, New York.

Brothers and Others in Arms:
The Making of Love and War in Israeli Combat Units

This unique book combines in-depth interviews with gay/bisexual Israeli soldiers with a systematic qualitative analysis of what they have to say. In their own words, you’ll hear these fighting men discuss both their combat experience and their social and erotic experiences with their fellow soldiers. Then the insightful analyses of each soldier’s identification with masculine-military culture gives you a new awareness of how combat is related to male desire. Brothers and Others in Arms brings you the words of these Israeli men of action. Steeped in ‘masculitary’culture (a term fully explored in the book), these soldiers--on missile boats, working in reconnaissance units, in tanks, as paratroopers and pilots-share with you the inner workings of their minds and their passions as they perform their life-threatening jobs along with their peers, both gay and straight. 

Masculine Marine : Homoeroticism in the U.S. Marine Corps (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies)

"Sexy, witty, smart, and shocking." - Judith Butler

 "Provides startling insights into the amount of homoeroticism - usually implicit, but often surprisingly explicit - common among macho Marines." - Choice  

"Offers powerful and penetrating insights." - Journal of Homosexuality 

The Heart's Command: Three Brand-New Military Romances
 

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